How to stop being needy in a relationship

If you feel you are too needy in a relationship, it can be very stressful for you and your partner. You could feel ignored when you feel needy and your partner is affraid he (or she) might never satisfy all your needs and make you happy. So, what can you do if you are so needy?

First step is to acknowledge that maybe both of you are very different people. And, YES, different people still can be happy with each other and live together happily. For example, if your partner doesn't show you affection in a certain way or isn't used to affection, he could seem distant and perceive you as very needy.

As long as you both know you want to make each other happy, then being needy for one of you won't be a problem. More problems can arise in the beginning of the relationship because more often than not, people have to guess and interpret each other actions.

If you are a needy person, it's because it makes you happy. If you stop being needy you could become very unhappy and disturbed.

Stop being needy

The easiest way to stop being needy is to find other needs.

Try to find something else what can be important to you. Put your passion not only in the other person, but also in hobby, goals or activities. Passion is what makes you needy.

You want to feel alive, you want to feel passion and it's very easy to through other person and your fantasies. Find something that can destruct you and take your attention away for a moment or a longer time.

If it's only the beginning of the relationship and you feel very needy, maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to become too committed to each other. Try to stay friends and meet as many interesting people as possible, it will make you much less needy toward a certain person.

If you are in a committed relationship and you feel needy, then learn about each other and communicate that you need and care about one another.

Being needy

Also, realize that being needy is not always bad. Someone would appreciate your affection and support for sure. Being needy can make you feel bad but maybe it makes other people flattered. It can be flattering when someone needs us, wants our attention and affection. Being needy is not as bad as you think. It's only bad if you feel bad.

If being needy makes you feel bad, rejected and unappreciated, then another solution would be to find people who need you too. Communicate your needs, tell people what you want and don't get mad if they can't give it to you. Don't be embarrassed that you are needy, accept yourself first. If someone doesn't need you, it's not your fault and try to find someone who needs you.

You can try to stop being needy, but more likely it won't make you very happy. But you can try, you might start enjoying your less needing attitude.

For example, I'm a needy person myself and it doesn't bother me. I know that I'm still accepted and loved by less needy people, so my neediness is not a problem for me. If you get rid of insecurity of rejection, then being needy, or being who you are won't be a problem for you.