How to build self confidence and self esteem

If you suffer from lack of confidence and self esteem, it probably means that you really care what others will think about you. Opinion of other people is important to you and it influences your behavior. Once you realize that you shouldn't care so much what other people think, it will be much easier for you to be confident.

Look at your own behavior, I'm sure you act different around people who are important to you (or not). The less you care about the outcome, the higher your confidence will grow. If you really care to be a good person, that everyone should be fond of then it's too hard to gain some confidence.

Also, you have to have a really good reason to act a certain way. Many confident people on the outside have bigger insecurities inside and they try to compensate by overly aggressive behavior.

More tips on gaining self confidence

Decide what you want. What is confidence in your opinion? Everyone has a different opinion how confidence should look like. Maybe for you it would mean to be confident enough or outgoing enough to find a new friend, while for the other person would need to find 100 friends to see himself confident in his own mind.

Some very outgoing people are really trying to compensate for past hurt and wounds. So, if you don't feel so self confident maybe it's a good sign of your healthy past? If you are hurting from your lack of confidence, then of course, do something about it or you will keep hurting.

Many people don't act very confident and self reassuring just because they don't have a good enough reason to do so. Once something will become very important to you, then your confidence will grow. Know what is important to you and go for it.

Maybe being a very confident person wasn't the biggest priority for you before and changing your habits would be uncomfortable to you now until you form new "confident" habits.

Confidence as your new habit

Once you understand everything I said before, it will take off some guilt of you for not feeling confident. Yes, it's not your fault that you feel this, way, it's all about your past experience. Don't blame yourself for anything and accept yourself the way you are. It feels good to be accepted in your own thoughts. Let your positive thinking grow and your confidence will show.

Start from the inside out. The better you feel on the inside the easier will be to control your own behavior. Don't take everything seriously. Just because someone didn't like you doesn't mean that you should be upset or angry. If it's your biggest desire to be liked and accepted, forget about it for now. Find other things than people to give you reassurance. To hope for people's acceptance and approval is a sure way to get depressed. So, find a hobby or something that you love to do, it will give you the inner confidence and you won't care so much what others people think.

Practice all of this and you will be on your way toward new confidence that you desire.